How to help your partner


How do you know if your spouse is depressed and how will you help you?There are some healthy ways to encourage your partner to seek treatment, understand their emotions and help them cope together Frustrated.

Signs that your spouse is frustrated

Sudden changes in spouse’s daily habits or behavior may be early Signs of frustration, LCDC’s Rabbi Misha L. Ben-David (Rabbi Misha L. Ben-David) said that he is a life coach and pastor at the Neshama Counselling and Coaching Office in Austin, Texas.

“You may notice that their diet is different, they have experienced more sullen behaviors or isolate themselves. They may avoid contacting you. Some people engage in solo activities or hobbies, or even compulsive behaviors, such as buying a car or flowers. A lot of money.” He said.

Suddenly, your partner may start:

  • Often cry or look angry
  • Lack of energy or interest in activities
  • Loss of concentration or concentration
  • go to bed More or less
  • Drink more alcohol Than in the past or taking drugs
  • Lost interest in sex

Avoid the vicious circle

Dr. Jacques Barber, Dean of the Department of Psychology at Adelphi University in Garden City, said that if your frustrated spouse keeps evacuating you or breaks out in anger, it is easy to feel hurt and alienated and react with similar behaviors. . ,new York.

“This creates a vicious circle that makes the spouse and Frustrated Even more frustrated, alienated, angry and withdrawn. “He said. “You must realize that coping with depression is very difficult, and your partner has not done anything malicious. This is depression. If someone has been angry with you, then you want to be born again! But remember: Depression is not contagious. This will not last forever and can be treated. It’s easy to blame yourself. But most couples did survive. “

Should you arrange to intervene with other friends and family members to solve your frustrated spouse’s problems? Ben-David said, please be careful before performing this step.

“The important thing is not to blame. It is more important to observe and let them know what you have noticed. Say, “I’ve seen you look more glum. “Talk about the changes you have observed,” he said. You can also share your feelings and let your spouse know that you have been hurt by a specific change in behavior. “Tell them,’We didn’t gender no longer. You did not spend time on me. ‘”

They may deny the problem

Ben David says that frustrated spouses may deny that they have any problems.

“Many people with depression Mental Health The problem does not want to be “solved”. They may just want to be heard. He said: “If the sound you hear while listening to your partner is too hurtful to deal with, please seek professional help.” “Your spouse may not regard your behavior as depression. If they are having sex, Poor performance in drinking, drugs or food, they might say, “I need this.It lightened my burden pressure. ‘”

Encourage your spouse to get help and diagnosis from a mental health professional.They can start Talk therapy The barber said that if needed, he can also prescribe drugs.reservation psychologist, A psychiatrist, consultant or family doctor diagnoses and then starts treatment.

Psychotherapy plus medication has proven that the treatment of depression is far better than medication. No-spoken medications will not help. Barber said. He added that drugs may be more suitable for treating patients with major depression.

carry on

Ben-David said that some couples choose to be treated together, especially if depression causes sexual problems in the marriage, such as an affair. Your depressed partner may prefer a single treatment.If they are struggling addictionHe said they need to be treated before the depression can be resolved.

“There is no quick solution. Some people may take a drug used to treat depression, but the drug does not work, or they go for treatment, but it does not apply to them. You must persevere.” Ben David said.

Stay proactive

What if your spouse refuses to receive treatment? Barber says you may feel hopeless, but keep a positive attitude because depression can usually be cured. Although your spouse may need to adhere to treatment and/or medication for several months, up to 90% of depression patients do improve with treatment.

“The important thing is to give them affection. You may feel rejected. But this is conditional, and their behavior is only part of the depression,” he said. “Encouraging. Invite them to do more interesting activities together. Do something positive, such as work out. Depression often causes drowsiness. Invite your spouse to go for a walk or to the beach (if you are nearby). “

carry on

Ben-David said that whether your spouse agrees to treatment or not, there are some things you should not do in response to their anger or denial.

“Avoid blaming or attacking them for your behavior. Don’t keep saying, “You did it. It makes me feel sad.” “Bargaining with them usually doesn’t help. Taking an all-or-nothing approach will not work,” he said. “On the contrary, it is recommended that you can perform healthy activities together or with your trusted friends. Go to outdoor concerts or listen to music You both like it. One behavior I sometimes prescribe for couples is to read each other. This is of good quality and can help with bonding. “

Practice self-care

When helping a frustrated spouse, it is important to take care of yourself. You can choose to start treatment to express your feelings about marriage and find ways to cope.

Here are some tips to help you maintain emotional and physical health:

  • enough sleep
  • Exercise regularly
  • Eat a healthy, balanced diet
  • Check out self-help books on depressed spouse partners

carry on

Ben David said, don’t view your spouse’s frustration as a negative reflection of your value as a partner or as an individual.

“It’s very personal for you. If your spouse behaves normally, then these behaviors are like an attack on you. You might feel that you have to take responsibility for this. The important thing is to Mental Health If you blame yourself for your spouse’s depression, you can become a professional. “Sometimes, both of a couple can become frustrated.” You may all need to deal with multiple issues. “


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