It seems counterintuitive to spend some time thinking about your own ideas when someone is struggling. You just want to help, so how can you help yourself in the end to help them? Brewer said, but the key is to slow down and hold your breath so that you can deal with the problem in a calm and feasible way.
Brewer said: “I learned something in medical school: When one of my patients has a heart attack, the first thing I do is to take my pulse.” “That’s not to say [you should] Ignore your patients and say, “Hey, make sure you are not panicking.” Because if I get frightened, it will cause more trouble for my team. “
This means that if you feel overwhelmed, you can’t expect to help others. As many other experts have said, you cannot run on an empty tank.Brewer said, please try to keep your position-you can try Body scan, Fast Breathe Practice, and more.
More importantly, Brewer stated that the urge to jump in immediately may reflect: “For example, if there is an anxious family member, our brain will say,’Oh, that’s unpleasant. We don’t want They suffer. I want to do something. So we often try to do something quickly to eliminate their anxiety, which is actually about our trying to make ourselves feel better even subconsciously.”
So instead of providing a solution right away, it’s better to overwhelm your loved one (and yourself), sit down and listen. Ask follow-up questions and actually try to hear what they are saying. Brewer added: “I learned a good route in housing.” Sitting there. My job is not to sit there, but to sit down so that I can really hear what is going on instead of saying “Let us solve your anxiety”. And it also helps to build a therapeutic alliance, so I can step in and help and understand where to start. “