Why parents need to set expectations for children with divergent nerves

Since our brain power is focused on the details and the energies are shifted from the whole, it may be difficult for me (and my son) to find the “why” that can sustain our survival through seemingly small difficulties throughout the process. Life usually feels like losing control. We can’t control too many details, but we usually see them individually, and usually can’t see them all as part of a larger picture.

It is difficult to describe this feeling to someone who has never experienced it. It’s like trying to persevere. There are too many fine particles-every fine particle looks equally important, but it is impossible to stick to all the fine particles.

Set expectations Alleviated some of this lack of control. Just knowing the structure of my life (even during the day or the next few hours) can provide great clarity. It’s like suddenly there is a sand bucket. If I know that I have a 5 by 5 inch bucket to put sand in, then I will control the sand particles in contact with it in order to succeed in this controlled structure.

So, for example, if we ask our son to put down the tablet, and he doesn’t know why or how long, and he doesn’t expect to stop using the tablet beforehand, then he is unwilling to cooperate.However, if we have set a time limit of fifteen minutes when we pick up the tablet and hear the message that the timer is off, then he will decide to put it down, because his expectations are clear and he can now control Lost one’s own destiny



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